In Arabic there’s a saying that goes “every time I try to organize my life, I end up scattering my heart.” Living carefree without a rigidly constructed week is actually very natural, normal, Lindy.
THANK YOU! i'm not demure and i'll never be and that's valid :') i was listening to this podcast of two women in their mid-20s talking about buying appartments in amsterdam and in london with their fiancées (as well as planning for kids) and as someone who's their age and a MESS (my life is just... messy and uncool), i kept thinking about how most of us can't be picky about where we live, let alone think about owning property, but I disgress. this post is so validating in a way, maybe i'm allowed to try to have fun (as a former 'very mature for her age' kid, it's difficult haha) :') thanks for blessing us with such reflection-inducing reads, your writing awes me every time 💕
very very true. i hate saying this cause it sounds so cliche but everyone is on their own timeline! you’re allowed to have as much fun as your heart needs <3
i don't understand "demure" but i also don't really see the harm in girls that *do* like the word (trend?) outside of the whole culture shift towards microlabels (but we can say that about all the trends of the week/month/etc.) i agree with a lot of the essay, but i think there can be more of a gray area in certain parts - it's so difficult to "be" a woman in the sense that there's this constant bombardment on all sides of what it means to "really" be a woman (when the answer is: there really isn't a "correct" way to be a woman). i think there's many different types of women out there and some identify with "demure" and some identify with "brat" and some don't really understand/like either of those words and we all get to choose where we find the most joy.
I'm also someone who's grown up as the person who was mature for her age. I'm barely going into my mid-twenties and yet at times I feel I'm already at the end of my twenties. I'm also always on-the-go and always working out of most of my friends so maybe that doesn't help. I had someone who's 31 tell me they're getting out of the house more than me, based off what I told her I do frequently on weekends. Which has consisted of watching Sex in the City, writing, reading, and spending time with my boyfriend. I've had fun but there's still so much more fun to had in my life that I can't self-sabotage myself out of. Thank you for this beautiful piece <3
Loved and felt every word of this essay with my whole heart!! In a world where everyone lives in isolation and only makes time for their friends twice a month, you've honestly hacked adulthood! <33
ahhhhh thank you for this.... I could feel myself overplanning my life for a few months now. This article really was like looking in a mirror, I'm realising: I'm no fun anymore!!! But my fun, 16 year old self also had a problem with setting boundaries, I have learned a lot about self respect since then. But now I feel like it's time to put it to the test, and see how my "mature" self would handle the same situations or problems my 16 year old party girl me faced. This feels like the push I needed to explore and embrace my wildest self!!! Hope you have an incredible rest of the month, filled with lots of dinner parties and good music and only the crispiest of drinks! Or sometimes honestly lukewarm tequila will also do.
LOVED THIS!!!!! i will always yearn for dorm-like chaos because it feels like home in some way. i think you’re doing everything right (don’t think twice)
i finally… FINALLY got drunk enough to feel my brain switch off last year when i turned 30, for the first time in my life and it was an oddly satisfying experience. i don’t chase the high anymore after but it was nice having silence and peace in my head for a while. deeply related to what you wrote about. here’s to the brat 20s, 30s AND 40s!! 🥳
Love this!! Letting go of what we think we should be doing is so freeing- turning 30 on Friday and I’m finding this out in small and bigger ways all the time x
In Arabic there’s a saying that goes “every time I try to organize my life, I end up scattering my heart.” Living carefree without a rigidly constructed week is actually very natural, normal, Lindy.
Enjoyed this read very much!
what a beautiful saying - what does the phrase look like in Arabic?🤍 thank you Aziz!
حاولتُ ترتيبَ يومي، فبعثرتُ قلبي :)
I know a brat when I see one 🫶
brat to brat solidarity! 🙂↕️🤍
THANK YOU! i'm not demure and i'll never be and that's valid :') i was listening to this podcast of two women in their mid-20s talking about buying appartments in amsterdam and in london with their fiancées (as well as planning for kids) and as someone who's their age and a MESS (my life is just... messy and uncool), i kept thinking about how most of us can't be picky about where we live, let alone think about owning property, but I disgress. this post is so validating in a way, maybe i'm allowed to try to have fun (as a former 'very mature for her age' kid, it's difficult haha) :') thanks for blessing us with such reflection-inducing reads, your writing awes me every time 💕
very very true. i hate saying this cause it sounds so cliche but everyone is on their own timeline! you’re allowed to have as much fun as your heart needs <3
i don't understand "demure" but i also don't really see the harm in girls that *do* like the word (trend?) outside of the whole culture shift towards microlabels (but we can say that about all the trends of the week/month/etc.) i agree with a lot of the essay, but i think there can be more of a gray area in certain parts - it's so difficult to "be" a woman in the sense that there's this constant bombardment on all sides of what it means to "really" be a woman (when the answer is: there really isn't a "correct" way to be a woman). i think there's many different types of women out there and some identify with "demure" and some identify with "brat" and some don't really understand/like either of those words and we all get to choose where we find the most joy.
I'm also someone who's grown up as the person who was mature for her age. I'm barely going into my mid-twenties and yet at times I feel I'm already at the end of my twenties. I'm also always on-the-go and always working out of most of my friends so maybe that doesn't help. I had someone who's 31 tell me they're getting out of the house more than me, based off what I told her I do frequently on weekends. Which has consisted of watching Sex in the City, writing, reading, and spending time with my boyfriend. I've had fun but there's still so much more fun to had in my life that I can't self-sabotage myself out of. Thank you for this beautiful piece <3
this resonates so hard. thank you for this comment 💙
Loved and felt every word of this essay with my whole heart!! In a world where everyone lives in isolation and only makes time for their friends twice a month, you've honestly hacked adulthood! <33
thank you!! 🥹💕
SO GOOD!!!!
THANK YOU🤍🙂↕️
another brilliant essay.. i love your writing so much!!
whitney 🧡🧡🧡🧡
ahhhhh thank you for this.... I could feel myself overplanning my life for a few months now. This article really was like looking in a mirror, I'm realising: I'm no fun anymore!!! But my fun, 16 year old self also had a problem with setting boundaries, I have learned a lot about self respect since then. But now I feel like it's time to put it to the test, and see how my "mature" self would handle the same situations or problems my 16 year old party girl me faced. This feels like the push I needed to explore and embrace my wildest self!!! Hope you have an incredible rest of the month, filled with lots of dinner parties and good music and only the crispiest of drinks! Or sometimes honestly lukewarm tequila will also do.
yes yes yes, it’s about channeling your 16 year old self through the prism of your adult discernment 💝
LOVED THIS!!!!! i will always yearn for dorm-like chaos because it feels like home in some way. i think you’re doing everything right (don’t think twice)
thank you!! 💕 by all means, come visit for the experience
literally would love to
Any idea or insights why brands, Influencers and everyone who supposedly care adopted the word or feeling "demure" this year? 🤔🤓📚🔖💯
i really enjoy your writing, valerie. thank you for this! - a fellow mess
cheers to the mess <3 thank you so much for reading
valerie <3333 i felt this so deeply! your words on maturity and navigating adulthood are so beautiful!
I liked it just for the title.
😁🤍
i finally… FINALLY got drunk enough to feel my brain switch off last year when i turned 30, for the first time in my life and it was an oddly satisfying experience. i don’t chase the high anymore after but it was nice having silence and peace in my head for a while. deeply related to what you wrote about. here’s to the brat 20s, 30s AND 40s!! 🥳
Love this!! Letting go of what we think we should be doing is so freeing- turning 30 on Friday and I’m finding this out in small and bigger ways all the time x
happy birthday! hope this year is your most delicious yet 🥳🥳