“Am I indistinguishable from every other brunette that comes in and out of your apartment? Why is it my brain that has to do the heavy lifting of tenderly observing and retaining? What a stupid one-way street. I don’t even care for you in a way I would for a lover, and yet I remember your siblings’ names, the work-in-progress title of that pretentious documentary you’re working on, and the sound your shoes make on the pavement. Asshole.” ❤️❤️❤️
Wow, I wonder if this is how you really feel about your memory. Wanting to hard reset it? Burn it down? I am, more or less unfortunately, blessed with very short memory span. I am the friend that says the same thing twice, once I even told something about an Icelandic app to check if the person you're dating is related to you TO the person who told me about the app in the first place. But I WILL remember random things. I will remember what I was listening to when I went somewhere, how I felt taking a photo, what I wore that day...
so glad i subscribed to club reticent. in my never ending email inbox of online orders, subscription ads, and rent payments i have this little gem brought to me by an amazing writer. these stories are seashells i put into my pockets :) lovely and relatable read, one indistinguishable brunette to another lol.
I genuinely am in tears after reading this. I feel so seen. As if you had just cracked my skull open and shone a bright maglite onto my amygdala. It’s responsible for encoding emotional memories, and I constantly find myself remembering every fleeting (or not so fleeting) brush of love that has ever painted on my blank canvas. I’m going to have to read this post a few more times to get over it.
I often think about about how I remember things that the other person in the memory doesn't remember. It is so odd to me that I know a part of someone that they don't know themselves. They forgot about that interaction, but I still remember it. However, it goes both ways. I am sure there are interactions I have forgotten but another person still remembers. We are more important to each other than we know!
"Not one of many" triggered my Athazagoraphobia (fear of being forgotten) so intense...
Am İ this unspecial that u mix me in ur memories with another someone? İt makes me angry, alwaysss. Oh n not to forget that İ also hear stories 2-3x... Hello? We had that convo, what a waste of time...
Ah.. Elon has to invent a pensieve... İdk, İ'll leave him do the magic ✨
This is the most relatable letter from u! (İ know İ say that everytime ur new one comes out... Let me live 😂😘)
i think this is my favorite thing you ever wrote. i feel so seen and understood bc i too wish i could stop remembering everything, but at the same time i'm like... thanks for giving me material to write about
Also useful to understand the annoyingness of the forgetful and the clarity of the rememberers. As a forgetter, I can see now why it may appear that others’ details are unimportant. This isn’t true. My brain just does not seem to have space to hold anything else. It’s like there is a leak and items drip out. I do have detailed calendar entries and reminders set for birthdays, anniversaries, hospital appts to help me remember things that are important to the people important to me. Really enjoyed reading the other perspective.
I have never felt so seen. I always joke to my closet friend that my memory is like a punishment, I remember everything and anything, even though I don’t want to. I feel like Celine from Before Sunset when she said, “I feel like I’ve never been able to forget anyone I’ve ever been with. Because each person had their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost.”
You are an amazing writer Valerie, I always enjoy reading your work ♥️♥️
Wowowow this is an experience that I thought isolated me until now! My anxiety/OCD combo plagues me with remembering everything I’ve ever said, the names of anyone I’ve ever met even in passing and probably a million other minutiae behind the scenes. Thank you for sharing this so beautifully.
You could write about literally anything and I would still be so caught up by how you word and describe every single thing so accurately, it’s art!
this means so much to me, thank you 💕💕
I don’t remember things that well, and I always feel so guilty when people call me out on it. But I didn’t choose to be this way, either!
this is me too
“Am I indistinguishable from every other brunette that comes in and out of your apartment? Why is it my brain that has to do the heavy lifting of tenderly observing and retaining? What a stupid one-way street. I don’t even care for you in a way I would for a lover, and yet I remember your siblings’ names, the work-in-progress title of that pretentious documentary you’re working on, and the sound your shoes make on the pavement. Asshole.” ❤️❤️❤️
God this hits home, it’s hard being the one that remembers it all.
Sierra ❤️🥹
Wow, I wonder if this is how you really feel about your memory. Wanting to hard reset it? Burn it down? I am, more or less unfortunately, blessed with very short memory span. I am the friend that says the same thing twice, once I even told something about an Icelandic app to check if the person you're dating is related to you TO the person who told me about the app in the first place. But I WILL remember random things. I will remember what I was listening to when I went somewhere, how I felt taking a photo, what I wore that day...
so glad i subscribed to club reticent. in my never ending email inbox of online orders, subscription ads, and rent payments i have this little gem brought to me by an amazing writer. these stories are seashells i put into my pockets :) lovely and relatable read, one indistinguishable brunette to another lol.
this is the nicest thing i've seen all week Cece ❤️
I genuinely am in tears after reading this. I feel so seen. As if you had just cracked my skull open and shone a bright maglite onto my amygdala. It’s responsible for encoding emotional memories, and I constantly find myself remembering every fleeting (or not so fleeting) brush of love that has ever painted on my blank canvas. I’m going to have to read this post a few more times to get over it.
Aimee, your comment nearly brought me to tears! <3 thank you!
" Little do you know you already told me all about it a few weeks ago." this made me laugh out loud
I often think about about how I remember things that the other person in the memory doesn't remember. It is so odd to me that I know a part of someone that they don't know themselves. They forgot about that interaction, but I still remember it. However, it goes both ways. I am sure there are interactions I have forgotten but another person still remembers. We are more important to each other than we know!
if only i could restack every single sentence, i would! i am in love with the way you write aaaa
"Not one of many" triggered my Athazagoraphobia (fear of being forgotten) so intense...
Am İ this unspecial that u mix me in ur memories with another someone? İt makes me angry, alwaysss. Oh n not to forget that İ also hear stories 2-3x... Hello? We had that convo, what a waste of time...
Ah.. Elon has to invent a pensieve... İdk, İ'll leave him do the magic ✨
This is the most relatable letter from u! (İ know İ say that everytime ur new one comes out... Let me live 😂😘)
i think this is my favorite thing you ever wrote. i feel so seen and understood bc i too wish i could stop remembering everything, but at the same time i'm like... thanks for giving me material to write about
Luisa i’m obsessed with you ❤️❤️ thank you!
Such gorgeous, beautiful writing.
Also useful to understand the annoyingness of the forgetful and the clarity of the rememberers. As a forgetter, I can see now why it may appear that others’ details are unimportant. This isn’t true. My brain just does not seem to have space to hold anything else. It’s like there is a leak and items drip out. I do have detailed calendar entries and reminders set for birthdays, anniversaries, hospital appts to help me remember things that are important to the people important to me. Really enjoyed reading the other perspective.
Tory, your words mean a lot to me 💕 always interesting see the other perspective, too
Such beautiful words Valerie! I’m feeling that bittersweet resentment right along with you ❤️
Cole! <3 thank you!
I have never felt so seen. I always joke to my closet friend that my memory is like a punishment, I remember everything and anything, even though I don’t want to. I feel like Celine from Before Sunset when she said, “I feel like I’ve never been able to forget anyone I’ve ever been with. Because each person had their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost.”
You are an amazing writer Valerie, I always enjoy reading your work ♥️♥️
yes! that’s my favorite line from the film! thank you dear 🤍
Wowowow this is an experience that I thought isolated me until now! My anxiety/OCD combo plagues me with remembering everything I’ve ever said, the names of anyone I’ve ever met even in passing and probably a million other minutiae behind the scenes. Thank you for sharing this so beautifully.
i also partially blame my anxiety disorder for making me this way 😭 thank you!!