I totally get this. It feels like the concept of healing is becoming another way productivity culture seeps into our emotional world.
You reminded me of the recent Maybe Baby: “I think introspection can become somewhat of a trap,” they write, “a system by which you control yourself so that you do not disturb the peace of the world outside of you.” Therapy as an end rather than a means. ( https://haleynahman.substack.com/p/180-against-self-analysis )
Having things like therapy as an end instead of a perpetually ongoing activity makes more sense to me. I recently parted ways with my therapist after 4 years (and a lot of actual ~healing~), and feel so free of the burden to find things wrong with my life every week just so I'm not wasting money on the sessions.
Love your writing, as always. You always put my thoughts into coherent essays that hit just right!
I love all of your pieces and the way you’re able to transcribe such complex concepts into easy to read essays! I relate to this in many ways, because I am too overwhelmed by the amount of Better Help ads I see in the content I consume. However, to give you another perspective, I live in a place where healthcare is more readily available meaning therapy is consequently more accessible/affordable. I don’t discredit the fact that the “healing journey” is being commercialized — like many other things in modern society, but I also see this as availability. For those that do want and/or need to improve their mental health, there are more resources and tools available to do so!
Amanda, that's amazing - therapy, I believe, should always be accessible to those in need. I myself have learned a lot in therapy. I personally believe that it's good to approach it in combination with other tools and a good support system outside of therapy (if that's a possibility) <3
This piece was so eye-opening, I love how you address the self-optimization issue and how this has become almost a pandemic in itself. It's so refreshing to read these reminders that life shouldn't be taken so seriously and that at the end of the day we're here to enjoy, suffer, laugh, cry, dance and just feeling however the fuck we want without having to give it a name!
I’ve been wary of self-optimization culture for a while so I really enjoyed this post. You really managed to put these complex feelings about this aspect of the wellness industrial complex into well-chosen words.
consider me a member of club reticent because this essay was incredible! It reminded me of Jia Tolentino's essay "Always Be Optimizing" in her book Trick Mirror.
Right! At this point, I just go on with life with my "unhealed self." With my burdens. It's like a chronic disease I sometimes forget I have, until some self-help guru pops out of my for-you page to remind me I have "stuff to work on."
This is an interesting post and, as someone training to be a therapist, I would say it sounds like the therapists you had were unsuited to you. I would encourage you to look into life coaching or timeline therapy - both valuable processes in their own right. But I also totally get what you're saying - I hate when every video I click on is seemingly "sponsored by Betterhelp."
I loved this!!!! It feels like these psychological explanations have become buzzwords to a range of experiences rather than highlight the very issues it was meant to. Whilst there’s value in being able to name a feeling or where we lack, it never felt right to me that everything we experience and interact with has become a fixed manifestation of “trauma” or some other major concept because it sort of takes away people’s confidence in knowing themselves? Anyways, I loved how you articulated this disconnect between human experience and the marketable nature of “self help” and awareness, linked to neoliberalism.
I’m so glad I found this and subsequently refound it again when substack returned me to home in the middle of reading it. I’ve subscribed and already sent this to friends! Such excellent writing and a truly thoughtful take on the culture of overtherapizing - in person and online. I’ve been an avid consumer of self help books, podcasts and media for years and it wasn’t until recently I realized that doing all this self help work was actually not helping and truly just STRESSING ME OUT more. Life is messy and sometimes painful. Sometimes incredible. And those can both exist in one life and in one day and even in one moment.
I relate very much to this. Coming to the realization that living life is the best form of « healing » I can offer myself. And not in the way of avoidance. Instead of googling how to heal from xyz I write about it. Dwelling on what makes me feel lowest will never rise me to the places my vision of my « healed » self is existing. I do not attach myself to the idea that I am a victim of the world, a struggling soul, working towards some form of self actualisation. I am a fully realized being and I was from the moment I was born.
I wanted to Restack something from almost every paragraph of this. You've expressed this so perfectly. I heard someone label it the "wellness industrial complex" a few years ago and I can't unsee it. I actually find a refuge from all this in mythology. It felt liberating to read about Gods who were refreshingly un-self-aware, chaotic and contradictory. It felt like it gives humans the permission to be human. This is such an important and amazing piece of writing.
I totally get this. It feels like the concept of healing is becoming another way productivity culture seeps into our emotional world.
You reminded me of the recent Maybe Baby: “I think introspection can become somewhat of a trap,” they write, “a system by which you control yourself so that you do not disturb the peace of the world outside of you.” Therapy as an end rather than a means. ( https://haleynahman.substack.com/p/180-against-self-analysis )
Having things like therapy as an end instead of a perpetually ongoing activity makes more sense to me. I recently parted ways with my therapist after 4 years (and a lot of actual ~healing~), and feel so free of the burden to find things wrong with my life every week just so I'm not wasting money on the sessions.
Love your writing, as always. You always put my thoughts into coherent essays that hit just right!
Madeleine, thank you! I'm excited to dive into the Maybe Baby post <33
I love all of your pieces and the way you’re able to transcribe such complex concepts into easy to read essays! I relate to this in many ways, because I am too overwhelmed by the amount of Better Help ads I see in the content I consume. However, to give you another perspective, I live in a place where healthcare is more readily available meaning therapy is consequently more accessible/affordable. I don’t discredit the fact that the “healing journey” is being commercialized — like many other things in modern society, but I also see this as availability. For those that do want and/or need to improve their mental health, there are more resources and tools available to do so!
Amanda, that's amazing - therapy, I believe, should always be accessible to those in need. I myself have learned a lot in therapy. I personally believe that it's good to approach it in combination with other tools and a good support system outside of therapy (if that's a possibility) <3
The way you write is simply BEAUTIFUL.
This piece was so eye-opening, I love how you address the self-optimization issue and how this has become almost a pandemic in itself. It's so refreshing to read these reminders that life shouldn't be taken so seriously and that at the end of the day we're here to enjoy, suffer, laugh, cry, dance and just feeling however the fuck we want without having to give it a name!
thank you! ❤️ couldn’t agree more – life is for joy & for writing on substack, of course
I’ve been wary of self-optimization culture for a while so I really enjoyed this post. You really managed to put these complex feelings about this aspect of the wellness industrial complex into well-chosen words.
Thank you Lili - honestly, we're all better off in most cases. It's great that you recognize it when you see it <3
This has helped me immensely, I honestly didn’t want it to end. Thank you for writing this 🩷
Reet! I'm so glad it resonated. Thank you ❤️
Loved this so much. Thank you. So resonant and important. What is “healing” anyway?? It’s such a great question and thanks for writing this.
consider me a member of club reticent because this essay was incredible! It reminded me of Jia Tolentino's essay "Always Be Optimizing" in her book Trick Mirror.
welcome to the club rachel!! ❤️ and thank you!
reminds me of this article: https://kirstenpowers.substack.com/p/we-dont-need-self-help-we-need-support
I only did therapy once and should probably try again (lol) but this is very spot on.
going to read this tonight - thank you ☺️
Right! At this point, I just go on with life with my "unhealed self." With my burdens. It's like a chronic disease I sometimes forget I have, until some self-help guru pops out of my for-you page to remind me I have "stuff to work on."
This is an interesting post and, as someone training to be a therapist, I would say it sounds like the therapists you had were unsuited to you. I would encourage you to look into life coaching or timeline therapy - both valuable processes in their own right. But I also totally get what you're saying - I hate when every video I click on is seemingly "sponsored by Betterhelp."
Healing prayer:
https://soberchristiangentlemanpodcast.substack.com/p/healing-prayer-for-a-friend
I loved this!!!! It feels like these psychological explanations have become buzzwords to a range of experiences rather than highlight the very issues it was meant to. Whilst there’s value in being able to name a feeling or where we lack, it never felt right to me that everything we experience and interact with has become a fixed manifestation of “trauma” or some other major concept because it sort of takes away people’s confidence in knowing themselves? Anyways, I loved how you articulated this disconnect between human experience and the marketable nature of “self help” and awareness, linked to neoliberalism.
This was such a refreshing read and take to mental health “healing” culture.
I’m so glad I found this and subsequently refound it again when substack returned me to home in the middle of reading it. I’ve subscribed and already sent this to friends! Such excellent writing and a truly thoughtful take on the culture of overtherapizing - in person and online. I’ve been an avid consumer of self help books, podcasts and media for years and it wasn’t until recently I realized that doing all this self help work was actually not helping and truly just STRESSING ME OUT more. Life is messy and sometimes painful. Sometimes incredible. And those can both exist in one life and in one day and even in one moment.
I relate very much to this. Coming to the realization that living life is the best form of « healing » I can offer myself. And not in the way of avoidance. Instead of googling how to heal from xyz I write about it. Dwelling on what makes me feel lowest will never rise me to the places my vision of my « healed » self is existing. I do not attach myself to the idea that I am a victim of the world, a struggling soul, working towards some form of self actualisation. I am a fully realized being and I was from the moment I was born.
I wanted to Restack something from almost every paragraph of this. You've expressed this so perfectly. I heard someone label it the "wellness industrial complex" a few years ago and I can't unsee it. I actually find a refuge from all this in mythology. It felt liberating to read about Gods who were refreshingly un-self-aware, chaotic and contradictory. It felt like it gives humans the permission to be human. This is such an important and amazing piece of writing.