What a beautiful piece!! As someone who is not white, has very curly hair, and experienced that brain chemistry-altering moment when a pretty white blonde girl told me I would "look so much better with straight hair" - thereby starting a 10+ year period of incessantly straightening it, I can relate. It took me so long to unlearn all the biases I had internalized about having curly hair. But now, (armed with a really good curl cream) I've been straight-hair sober for almost a year, and it feels liberating. Never thought I'd get there. Thanks for writing this piece 💗
as half chinese & half australian growing up in a white dominated area, i too always felt out of place and like something in between. but now growing up and looking back, i think i've come to terms with my identity and am trying to learn more about my asian heritage, so glad we can all heal together <3 thank you for sharing your story!
This was beautiful, I really loved it! I am monoracial but have a dual ethnicity (Black American & Haitian) and I relate so much to what you say about the struggle to fully belong. When I lived in a big city, I used to love when Haitian strangers would ask if I was from there because it made me feel "legible" in a way I don't often experience. Thank you so much for sharing this perspective 🌸
thank you so much Aria! it's definitely a neverending push-and-pull, i feel you. but that's so beautiful that we're able to embrace ourselves a bit more in big cities <3
Such a powerful piece! I hear you on being ethnically ambiguous, which maybe has its perks, but belonging nowhere and to no one. Omg. Vladimir Lenin would not be a teenage girl's ideal role model, thanks.
In hearing about Bella Hadid's quote, I wonder if people will ever start having reverse nose surgery to reclaim their heritage. Is that even possible? 🤷🏻♀️
thank you Sarah ❤️ haha vladimir lenin was certainly not it for me for growing up (still isn't)
yeah certainly, i think that might be in the foreseeable future given that most people getting plastic surgery don't fully sit with the gravity of their decision beforehand
this is such an interesting idea to consider… people reverse their tattoos all that time. we’ve got so many people making knee-jerk decisions to try and feel better. will be curious how this all evolves!
I love this post so much, and i relate so much too. Curly haired and mixed too... i recognise myself in your story and learned to accept myself as me and not like a specific 'ethnicity'. It may look ambiguous but now it's my "perk" i'd say, and I am feeling more and more happy to be different. I still straighten my hair more often than not, for ease (theyre curly and break easily when and straightening them just takes less effort and less money to maintain...! ;-; ) but when I let them curly i see and feel the difference! I love it too.
Thank you for sharing. I like every single one of the pieces you've written and shared on here, but this one strikes close to my heart.
Marie ❤️❤️ thank you so much for this comment (and for reading club reticent!)
i also still straighten my hair most of the time, old habits die hard haha. glad you’re able to see that your ethnicity is a wonderful addition to your already complex and beautiful nature <3
oh wow, it's crazy how we have almost exact same experiences (slavic on my mother's side and siberian tatar+komi on my father's side). i related to a lot of things in this piece, very beautiful read!
planning to at some point! i also think immigrant perspective plays a huge role in how you view your ethnicity (or, at least for me, it changed my view on it)
This was such a beautiful read, I can recall the feeling of not fitting in either one of my parents cultures being considered too “western” and that my existence was my fault, as well as just about fitting into the cultures of my friends but falling short. I think my hair was what gave me the confidence to move past it, I was teased relentlessly about my hair but my mum taught me to have a healthy relationship with my hair. To let it grow wild and to not touch it with heat. After years of not going near a hair straightener but just having an indifferent relationship, I saw another arab girl who had grew her hair beautifully long. And I finally understood the brilliance of being from two different cultures, how interesting it made me and I hadn’t even fully appreciated it.
This is such a beautifully written piece and really hit home for me - my fam has lost so much central and eastern european culture from wanting to be accepted in australia while growing up my aussie peers loved to hit me with the "where are you from, like, originally?”
this sentence: 'using hair straightener as a scalpel for the umbilical cord between self and heritage' is GLORIOUS
THANK YOU ❤️
What a beautiful piece!! As someone who is not white, has very curly hair, and experienced that brain chemistry-altering moment when a pretty white blonde girl told me I would "look so much better with straight hair" - thereby starting a 10+ year period of incessantly straightening it, I can relate. It took me so long to unlearn all the biases I had internalized about having curly hair. But now, (armed with a really good curl cream) I've been straight-hair sober for almost a year, and it feels liberating. Never thought I'd get there. Thanks for writing this piece 💗
thank you Mel 👼🤍 can 100000% relate!!
is this my sign to not get a nose job
it may be…..
as half chinese & half australian growing up in a white dominated area, i too always felt out of place and like something in between. but now growing up and looking back, i think i've come to terms with my identity and am trying to learn more about my asian heritage, so glad we can all heal together <3 thank you for sharing your story!
we looove an ethnicity limbo don’t we. thank you for sharing a piece of your story dani 🥰 happy you liked the post
This was beautiful, I really loved it! I am monoracial but have a dual ethnicity (Black American & Haitian) and I relate so much to what you say about the struggle to fully belong. When I lived in a big city, I used to love when Haitian strangers would ask if I was from there because it made me feel "legible" in a way I don't often experience. Thank you so much for sharing this perspective 🌸
thank you so much Aria! it's definitely a neverending push-and-pull, i feel you. but that's so beautiful that we're able to embrace ourselves a bit more in big cities <3
Absolutely. I like to think we understand the world a little better for not fitting easily into its constructed categories of identity!
Such a powerful piece! I hear you on being ethnically ambiguous, which maybe has its perks, but belonging nowhere and to no one. Omg. Vladimir Lenin would not be a teenage girl's ideal role model, thanks.
In hearing about Bella Hadid's quote, I wonder if people will ever start having reverse nose surgery to reclaim their heritage. Is that even possible? 🤷🏻♀️
thank you Sarah ❤️ haha vladimir lenin was certainly not it for me for growing up (still isn't)
yeah certainly, i think that might be in the foreseeable future given that most people getting plastic surgery don't fully sit with the gravity of their decision beforehand
who could blame you, really?!
this is such an interesting idea to consider… people reverse their tattoos all that time. we’ve got so many people making knee-jerk decisions to try and feel better. will be curious how this all evolves!
I love this post so much, and i relate so much too. Curly haired and mixed too... i recognise myself in your story and learned to accept myself as me and not like a specific 'ethnicity'. It may look ambiguous but now it's my "perk" i'd say, and I am feeling more and more happy to be different. I still straighten my hair more often than not, for ease (theyre curly and break easily when and straightening them just takes less effort and less money to maintain...! ;-; ) but when I let them curly i see and feel the difference! I love it too.
Thank you for sharing. I like every single one of the pieces you've written and shared on here, but this one strikes close to my heart.
Marie ❤️❤️ thank you so much for this comment (and for reading club reticent!)
i also still straighten my hair most of the time, old habits die hard haha. glad you’re able to see that your ethnicity is a wonderful addition to your already complex and beautiful nature <3
beautiful writing!! "Most positive things about the self are learned retroactively" hit me hard.
thank you xx
thank you so much for reading ebba <3
oh wow, it's crazy how we have almost exact same experiences (slavic on my mother's side and siberian tatar+komi on my father's side). i related to a lot of things in this piece, very beautiful read!
incredible!! i'd be eager to read your perspective if you ever write (or have written?) about your origin ❤️
planning to at some point! i also think immigrant perspective plays a huge role in how you view your ethnicity (or, at least for me, it changed my view on it)
so fire
thank you 🤍🫡
ofc ofc 🫡
so incredible as always
faith! ily ❤️
This was such a beautiful read, I can recall the feeling of not fitting in either one of my parents cultures being considered too “western” and that my existence was my fault, as well as just about fitting into the cultures of my friends but falling short. I think my hair was what gave me the confidence to move past it, I was teased relentlessly about my hair but my mum taught me to have a healthy relationship with my hair. To let it grow wild and to not touch it with heat. After years of not going near a hair straightener but just having an indifferent relationship, I saw another arab girl who had grew her hair beautifully long. And I finally understood the brilliance of being from two different cultures, how interesting it made me and I hadn’t even fully appreciated it.
thank you Maryam ❤️ music to my ears that you've been taught to love your hair. what a beautiful thing & kudos to your mum!
half ashkenazi jewish culturally ambiguous sister! rejoice ✨
helloooo we're in union ❤️
this was VERY reminiscent of my experience as a black girl growing up in the age of relaxers…thank you for sharing this ♥️
This is such a beautifully written piece and really hit home for me - my fam has lost so much central and eastern european culture from wanting to be accepted in australia while growing up my aussie peers loved to hit me with the "where are you from, like, originally?”
What a beautiful beautiful piece ❤️❤️❤️