feeling weird at the party

paid subscriber special

Hi! :) I’m deeply grateful for your contribution to club reticent, and I wanted to launch something in parallel to my regular posts to make the whole experience a little more special and fun for us. Most of my new content is still free and will remain free, but I feel the urge to reward those who keep the newsletter going with something cute beyond the archive. We’ll start with these little freestyle-type posts where I share a few thoughts, answer questions, or just put out some of my words that (on seemingly rare occasions) are worth digging out of the Notes app.

Today’s post is about that agitated, delicious state that can’t be described—only felt. Are you a natural partygoer, sparking up the room as you walk in? Or are you, like me, trepidatiously planning out an outfit and religiously clearing out your schedule? I’m not a natural by any means, but I’ve gotten good enough at pretending. While I may pull up to the location in little heels with a tiny bag and a ready-set-go smile, no RSVP required, I’m probably going to want to leave in about an hour. And I feel weird in here, sweating through my vintage top. Is it possible to get better at partying if it doesn’t come naturally? I think it is. There are a few rules I’ve been following upon observing and studying the naturals long enough. Here’s a playbook for you, for me, for us. A little cheat code won’t hurt.